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You've got syphilis!

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Discuss! [30 Dec 2005|12:32am]



A good time?
56 comments|post comment

[18 Nov 2005|07:43pm]
35 comments|post comment

I love pork! [10 Mar 2005|01:14pm]
Wow! What a great idea! Bacon Whores! The link is worksafe although hopefully what happens after all the bacon has been cooked is not! Perhaps we could lather each other up in grease and get to porking!

Unfortunately, it appears that they're all booked up in chicagoland for the next two weeks! I hope there are some hotties out there in livejournal willing to cook me some bacon and fornicate this weekend!
31 comments|post comment

[21 Dec 2004|09:00pm]
Who wants to fuck-in the solstice tonight? We could mate in a field and sow each other's oats!
26 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2004|12:15pm]
I hear sex is easier to find in times of tragedy and distress! Has anyone had any great ass in the past day? I know I'll be scoping out the local Burger King bathroom tonight!
33 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2004|11:04am]
When I go to charlie's ale house tonight and lovingly tap that hot gay ass I will remind myself of how happy I am that I can still have a civil union with another guy in Illinois! In addition, post coitus I will happily hope that many of these gay marriage state amendments will be struck down by the courts as they banned civil unions in addition to just marriage! http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/10/05/gay.marriage.ap/

I don't know the wording of all these different amendments, but its enough to give me hope when I'm ejaculating!
4 comments|post comment

[02 Aug 2004|02:03am]

Whew! I just got done giving someone a "free rectal exam"! It was a lot of fun! Hopefully they don't get all confused and think they just got their genitalia stuck in a zipper next week!
23 comments|post comment

[11 Mar 2004|04:32pm]
1. Enter your LJ name into Google. (If your LJ name shows no picture, use your first name).
2. Click the images tab.
3. Post your favorite pic from the first page.

I found other pictures that were a bit too disgusting to post!
34 comments|post comment

What great news! [20 Nov 2003|04:54pm]
[ mood | excited ]

The Center for Disease Control reported today that I'm becoming more popular! What great news!

Anyone want to meet me in the backroom of the Eagle Leather Bar tomorow? Or, for the heterosexuals, perhaps an encounter at Exit tonight! I love a little whipping before I'm given the opportunity to infect someone!

40 comments|post comment

[08 Aug 2003|04:30am]
[ mood | cranky ]

I just came back from a Wu-tang clan concert but failed to get any action in the bathroom! I was quite dissapointed that GZA was about to get some ass from a hottie I was looking to tap into! A concert I went to last week also did not result in any mating! Even the Eagle is turning into a letdown!

Whats wrong with this town?

34 comments|post comment

Free Advice! [19 Jun 2003|09:16pm]

You Should Give Your Ex Syphilis!

You dislike your ex, but you don't hate her.

As soon as you get revenge, you'll be happy and forget all about this girl.

Give her Syphilis and she'll get sores that look like holes with raised edges on her vagina.

The sores are painless and disappear after a few weeks, but they'll reappear as a rash all over her whole body.

Syphilis is completely curable at any stage.

What STD Should You Give Your Ex?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
1 comment|post comment

Happy V-day! [14 Feb 2003|11:27am]
Happy Venereal Disease day to one and all!

May your night be full of humping and open chancre sores!

Who is up for contracting some diseases tonight?
34 comments|post comment

[09 Feb 2003|09:21am]
I went out to a bar last night! While there, I farted while I was around a number of friends! After about thirty seconds, everyone made strange grunting noises. One person informed me that the sewers backed up periodically at said bar and often caused a rancid smell where we were standing! I knew it wasn't the sewers...it was me! How does one inform their friends of this? I fear I would have lost friends had I admitted that it was my own aroma and not the sewer's!
12 comments|post comment

[19 Nov 2002|03:30am]
From http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=syphilis

"I'd walk a mile for Syphilis"

"Have you forgotten how good Syphilis tastes?"

"You've got questions. We've got Syphilis"

"Aaaah, Syphilis!"

"When you've got Syphilis, flaunt it"

"Promise her anything, but give her Syphilis"

"Syphilis wanted"

"This is not your father's Syphilis"

"Be like Dad, Keep Syphilis"

"I'm not going to pay a lot for this Syphilis"
9 comments|post comment

[25 Oct 2002|07:41am]
[ mood | confused ]

Last night I had a dream that I was publicly masturbating! I was sitting on a bus, saw a hot friend passing by on the street and said "Hey! This would be a good place to crank one off!" I then proceeded to do so. I thought I was being stealthy by hiding my actions behind my coat. Unfortunately, after a minute or two the bus driver noticed and threw me off the bus.

After that I went for a walk in the park. I didn't zip up because people might see me touching myself! Unfortunately, some tough eninem looking dude saw my penis hanging out. He said "Hey faggot!" and then proceeded to kick my ass.

What does this all mean?!?

13 comments|post comment

[23 Jul 2002|09:20am]
After carefully considering who I have yet to penetrate out there in livejournal, I have created a to-do list! You can find it at http://www.livejournal.com/todo/?user=syphilis

Make sure to be available on your assigned day!
110 comments|post comment

[19 May 2002|09:54pm]
Anal sex isn't so fun when one is on the receiving end of it! Ouch ouch! I'm never getting involved in a threesome with a married couple again!
18 comments|post comment

[06 May 2002|10:16pm]
It is a non-stop humpfest! One day Timmy's humping, another day
Bob is humping. Sometimes they just hump back and forth. And
the more they hump, the more excited they seem to get and its hard to
calm that one down to continue socializing. And of course, when one
or the other humps too long, the one getting humped gets pissy. I
have tried bringing toys in, bringing food in and rubbing them side by side forever. They aren't head over heels in love but they seem to like each
okay - they both exchange a few kisses. And they aren't
aggressive towards each other, so I think it is definitely going to
work but I just feel like there is something that could help them
over the hump! Any tricks / suggestions out there?
2 comments|post comment

[06 May 2002|06:24am]
Whew! I finally got to mount something this weekend! Punk girls are E-Z with a capital E and capital Z. The last time I almost got up on a girl was ruined by some crazed fat guy with hot wax dripping down his back. He was a bit upset because someone decided to break down his bedroom door while he was being whipped and hot-waxed. Needless to say, I left quickly and let him deal with his own issues!
5 comments|post comment

[04 Apr 2002|06:16am]
Why can't I stop masturbating? I masturbate wherever I go...even the burger king bathroom!

16 comments|post comment

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